Sunday, February 28, 2010

ABUSE

ABUSE

“'Mediocrity' doesn't mean average intelligence, it means an average intelligence that resents and envies its betters”

 - Ayn Rand


At the end of Russell's Saturday night shift he was thinking about the last two nights.


Another fucking Saturday night on the road in Los Alamos.  What a fucking day and another to come.  Friday night Russell caught some 8 year old breaking tree limbs off at Urban Park.  He sounded his sirens , got out of the squad car, and ran after the escaping kids catching them by the back of their scrawny necks.  He overheard the conehead kids say, "The pig is gaining on us."  He was so pissed he scooped those pencil dick nerds up by their necks and shook them.  


"You boys are in some trouble now.  Defacing public property.  Where do you live?"


"You're the one in big trouble, pig.  My dad is going to roast your ass."  said the taller fatter kid.


"We'll see kid.  If I have to ask you again, I'm taking you to detention and calling your parents from there."


The little skinny kid says shaking, "I live at 36 Loma Del Escolar on Baranca Mesa.  Billy lives just a couple houses down from me."


When I brought those kids to their houses the parents were pissed at me.  Billy's father turned out to be a judge.   When he opened the door and saw me standing there with his son, he looked straight at my badge and said, "Officer, what is this about.  I'll need your name and your duty officer.  My name is Judge Roy Johnston."


 I told him I caught his son breaking limbs off a tree at Urban park.  He looked at me like I was some kind of idiot and said, "Isn't it possible it appeared that way and that the limbs had merely broken under the boys weight."


I said, "No sir, there were multiple limbs lying on the ground."


"Son, I don't appreciate you frightening my child like this.  Your superiors will be speaking with you in the morning.  Good day."  and he closed the door on me.


Sure enough, when I got back from shift I was asked to stay until the captain arrived.  He called me in his office and let me have it.  "Don't I have any more brains than an imbecile?  You had better shape up or you won't last another month on this force."  He screamed at me for a half hour and then gave me a double shift on Saturday night and Sunday day.


Fucking cone heads.  Now it's 5:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon and my team lost the first softball game in a single elimination tournament because I wasn't there.  Russell pulled into his parking spot outside their apartment on 44th street.  He could see Ruth looking out the kitchen window while he pulled up.  God damn it! there was going to be another argument.  He needed a drink and had already phoned Ralph and told him he was coming over to the Golf Club Bar.  He wouldn't have stopped at all if he had a change clothes with him.  


Ruth was so excited.  Tom and Margaret had invited them to dinner.   She walked over to door excited to greet Russell at the door and tell him the news.  Russell came through the door and was pissed when he saw the look of excitement on her face.  He hated to see her happy these days.  It was all her fault that they lived in Los Alamos anyway.  "What the fuck are you so happy about?"


Ruth didn't let him phase her and said in excitement, "Tom and Margaret invited us to dinner."


"There's no fucking way.  Did you forget about my missing the softball tournament today?  What do you think those guys are doing?  They are drinking at the club celebrating their fucking loss because I couldn't be there."


"Oh, please Russell.  I've been looking forward to this all day.  We never go out anymore.  You can go drinking right after dinner."


"Shut the fuck up."  Russell went upstairs and changed into jeans, a white t shirt, a cowboy belt, and a cowboy hat.  


Ruth stood at the door crying, hoping there might be a way to get him to go to dinner with her.  She said, "Please, Russell."


"Get the fuck away from the door!"  He pushed both his arms out just like he would if stopping a rusher from coming through the offensive line.  Ruth flew into the door hitting her head hard and slumped into a heap on the floor.  Russell pushed her out of the way with his foot, opened the door and left her lying there, crying on the floor.


Jack, rarely home, was in his room by his mother's request getting ready to go to dinner.  When he heard his dad get home and how he was talking to his mom he had shut the door to his room.  When his dad had stomped down the stairs he had slipped out to watch him leave.  He watched as his dad slammed his mother against the door, tears streaming from his eyes unable to speak.  He ran down the stairs and held his mother's head in his lap as she cried.   Her head was bleeding.    She kept saying, "I'm sorry Jack."



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved



Saturday, February 27, 2010

COMPASSION

COMPASSION

“It is darkness that allows us to see the light"

 - Philip Regenie


Margaret looked out her front window at the grey overcast sky while waiting for Ruth to come over for their Monday morning coffee.  It had been a really good weekend with the family.  Len, Jen, and Jack had played in the canyon behind their house almost all day both Saturday and Sunday.  It was everything she could do to get them to come home to have their favorite lunch; tomato soup, chocolate milk and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Margaret watched Ruth pass by the window.  Something was wrong, her shoulders were rolled forward and her head bobbed like someone who had no reason to hold it up anymore.  Thank God the kids were in school for at least another hour, it looked like Ruth had a bad weekend.  Lately, they could hear the screaming going on across the breezeway that separated their condos.  Ruth and Russell had been having a hard time of it now for quite some time.  Russell hated Los Alamos and started drinking with some unsavory types at the bar.  Margaret waited for the knock on the door, she knew that Ruth would want to compose herself before she answered.  Ruth rang the doorbell just once, very lightly.  Margaret opened the front door and pushed open the screen door, "Good Morning, Ruth, I was really anxious to see you this morning."  Ruth looked up at Margaret as the sweet vanilla scent of chocolate chip cookies wafted past her and out the door.  Ruth's shoulders rose and moment, only a moment of satisfaction and a slight quiver of a smile raced across her face to be replaced by her entire beings scream "Please help me!"  Her clothes hung limp on her torso, her face sagged and had an abrasion on the left lower cheek, her eyes were red, and she could not even muster her usual "Hello."


"You better come in and sit down Ruth.  I'll get you a coffee or would you like a soothing tea?"  Margaret said.


Ruth shuffled over to the kitchen table and looked out the kitchen window as tears fell from her cheeks.  She looked at Margaret ashamed, "The tea sound nice Margaret.  Thanks."


"Honey, you look awful.  What can I do to help?"  Margaret asked.


Ruth started with a sniffling whisper, "He hit me last night.  I just wanted him to stay home and not go drinking with Ralph."  Her sniffling turned into sobs.


"Cry it out honey."  Margaret finished filling the tea pot and putting it on the gas burner.  "You need to leave him Ruth.  It's not good for you or Jack to be around someone who acts this way.  Did Jack see or hear anything?"


"It's been getting worse and I think Jack is starting to get affected.  He's hardly ever home and when he is, he stays in his room."  Ruth said.






Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved



Thursday, February 25, 2010

A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE

A TIME FOR EVERY PURPOSE

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

- The Holy Bible


 Len and Jack both awoke to the sound of a prop plane making a slow circle outside their cave. They climbed out of their bags near the fire pit and put on their leggings, jackets, and boots. Almost every morning one type of plane or another had flown near their Dead Man’s Cave. Their standard procedure was to investigate the type of aircraft and it’s flight path. From inside the cave they both made out the distinctive sound of a single engine prop making a slow circle overhead. When they arrived at the cave entrance, a two foot wide ray of light shot through the light smoke to brighten the cave entrance. The plane appeared at three o’clock and was circling towards the morning sun. They were well hidden by a large overhang and dense snow laden brush. Even with infrared equipment it would be impossible to detect them from the plane.


 “What do you think, Len, is this it?”


 “Have to say it is. It’s flying a low altitude search pattern. They probably have sophisticated infrared on board. Tonight we have to make our first bivouac. I’ve finally decided what to do in terms of them hunting me down and killing me. I can’t let that happen. In my insane attempt to protect myself and my family from the government I didn’t think it possible that I would lose control of the devices. No matter what, insane or not, I didn’t start this war over a petty fear and I’m not going to lose it over one. I’m sending an email message to all major publications, to the President of the United States, and the armed forces. The email will be a declaration of war stating succinct conditions involving my family first and the United States Government’s surrender second. The terms of surrender will be unconditional surrender to myself as absolute dictator for an eight year period. At that time I will relinquish my office and allow them to do with me as they please. The message will include my acceptance of the responsibility for the devastation of Chicago. Additionally, the message will inform them of the number of bombs still out there and the mechanism used to employ them. After that, the ball is in their court. Jack, I’m sorry you are associated with me in this. I would have never harmed you intentionally. As it was, I had to protect you by getting you to come with me. If I could have brought Maria and the kids I would have. I’m afraid that the government won’t believe that they are trapped and they will attempt to destroy me outright. To accomplish that end they will hunt down and either intern or interrogate anyone that has an intimate connection with me. If the government is successful in killing me, all 19 remaining weapons will detonate in some unknown random sequence, taking with them, at the very least, nine more major sites responsible for 90% of the infrastructure in the United States. Then I will be solely responsible for the dissolution of America and over a 100 million immediate deaths.”


 “Len, I’ve known you for 43 years. In which time you have done nothing but try to do your best and be a good person to your family and your government. The morning after our traditional toast to freedom, I am entrapped in a scheme you perpetrated without my knowledge that makes you the worst monster of human history. What you’ve done is abhorrent. I can’t forgive you, and I’m sure no one else will either. This puts you in a league with Hitler and Stalin. No matter what the path, you have arrived at a point where innocent people died to further humanity’s improvement. Even if your desired goals are attained, they will have been based on an atrocity. You know as well as I that Machiavellism is immoral. If Marx was right, what you did was the only way to end the tyranny of our government. Me, I wouldn’t want the job. And here I am. With a friend for life that has committed the worst atrocity in the history of mankind. I’m pretty sure the memories of me will not go through history unsullied. No doubt, in the statue commemorating your demise, I will be represented praying to you while I polish your shoes.”


 Len said, “Give me one other surefire way to protect your family from government interference.”


 “Move.”


 “Ah, come on Jack, you know they won’t let me move. I haven’t been able to move out of the U.S. for 15 years.”


 “Perhaps then, you and your family aren’t worth the cost.”


 “Every family is worth the cost. Innocence doesn’t exist, and you know it.”


 “Oh, so you’re saying killing four million people, or however many it was in Chicago was justified?”


 “No. I’m saying that there was only one mechanism left to me to protect my family from government intervention. That was an absolute threat against the existence of their government that required that they not only do what I ask, but protect me from harm at all costs. If I had created a system that required me to turn it on when threatened then there are any number of situations they could have created that would not have allowed me access to do so. If, on the other hand, I could turn them off under duress, once again they could create a situation through hostages that would force my hand. Currently, if they desire to remain alive themselves and maintain any semblance of a government whatsoever, they are forced to do what I ask. No matter what the situation was that caused me to employ this system they would not believe me by word alone.  In many ways, the way this has worked out may be best for the country. If my family had been threatened without just cause, and I had issued a warning, they would not have believed it. They may have killed me based on the threat alone, in which case all 20 bombs would have annihilated the United States.”


 “Oh great, now you’ve done the country a service. I have to get away from you for awhile. I’ll start sweeping the cave.”


 Jack went to where Len and he had left off sweeping the cave the day before. He brushed the floor with the branch they had collected from the bush above the cave. He made his sweeping motion in the direction of the inner cave. They hoped to cover up their tracks leading the searchers deeper and deeper into it. The dust settled over the brush marks leaving almost no trace of sweeping at all. Len was packing the backpacks with what remained of their equipment. He left the sleeping bags out so they could rest before leaving. As he packed up, tears fell onto the cave floor exploding silty dust up by the tears. The drone of the plane could barely be heard now as its pattern took it further and further from the cave. Eventually, they would find the Hummer and exhaustively search in an ever increasing radius from there. It was only a matter of time until they found the cave and them. Len finished packing and went out to the cave entrance to check their ascent of the cliff face. The 300 foot climb to the top of the ridge would take them an hour. They needed to make the climb just before dusk. With the binoculars Len checked the climbing nuts they had left earlier. He was careful to avoid turning the lenses towards the sun. The ascent checked out and Len went back into the cave where Jack was finishing up. All that remained was to rest until their departure at around 4:30 that afternoon. Without talking, Len and Jack got into their sleeping bags. Len set his mental clock for 4:30 and tried to get some sleep.


 After 15 minutes Jack got up and went to sit in the cave entrance. The cave was located 700 feet from the bottom of the canyon on a 1000 foot cliff face. The opening faced due South Southwest. A spring located on the East side of the Valle de la Grulla flowed south for one mile before cutting between two 1000 foot cliffs and feeding into Canones Creek which ran from Cerro de la Garita North past the cave 1/4 mile to the east. Canones Creek defined the canyon at the base of an 800 foot cliff that capped off into Mesa del Medio. The entire area was covered in at least 12 feet of snow which defined clean breaks against the black lava cliffs. Stands of aspen and pine covered the hill tops and ran along the creek bottom. The terrain was beautiful in it’s ruggedness. Dark blue frozen waterfalls covered the lava cliffs where the heat of the day sun had melted the snow at the top. At night the running water froze. Jack felt the heat of the New Mexico morning sun beat down on his face. A slight morning breeze would occasionally remind him of the 18 degree temperature.


 The first time Len and Jack saw this cave they were 16. They were on summer break from school. They had decided to hike into the Sante Fe National Forest from San Antonio Canyon. They had driven to San Antonio Canyon on a Monday night and hiked up to the hot springs with a six pack of beer. They arrived at the hot springs at 1 o’clock in the morning. The hike itself was a challenge in the pitch black. They had decided not to use flash lights and were going by starlight alone. After stumbling and laughing up the hillside they arrived at the concrete plug that marked the hot springs. They took the six pack out of the day pack laying it on the concrete plug just above the springs. The stars shone crystal clear as steam rose from their cold beer cans. The hot springs and night engulfed them in the quiet of the evening as they grimaced down three beers apiece.  Jack immediately threw up over the rocks that circled the springs. Len lay back almost comatose. They weren’t able to get out of the springs until 4 in the morning. They made their way down the hill, two prunes falling drunkenly from time to time. Their hangovers lasted until late in the morning when they started to backpack into the Baca Location from the car.


 They hiked up and around Cerro de la Garita and followed a very steep stream bed down to Canones Creek. A lot of the time they had to walk in the water, jumping from one large rock to another between steep rising cliffs. After four miles they ended up on a pack trail that led up the canyon. At around 5 that afternoon they came to a point in the trail where a stream came into Canones Creek from the left. It dropped down a canyon that lost a thousand feet in half a mile. Huge boulders lay in the stream bed. On all sides cliffs rose a thousand feet. There was a small beautiful green valley made by the delta of the falling stream as it flattened out and joined Canones. They pitched their tent beneath three pine trees and listened to the streams gurgle past until they fell asleep. They rarely made a fire when camping. It was just their way. The minimal impact, can’t be tracked way. They were caught up in the times of Zen awareness attempting to pass through the wilderness with the least amount of evidence. The next day they hiked up the stream that dropped from Valle de la Grulla into Canones Canyon. The hike was extremely arduous. At 10 o’clock just as the sun lit up the north cliff face Len pointed up at the face and said, ”Does that look like a cave entrance to you?”


 “Does what look like a cave entrance?”


 “Follow my arm Jack. See it? Mid way up the cliff face. A sort of shadow where you wouldn’t expect one. Just below that copse of bushes that sticks straight out from the cliff face. See it?”


 “I think so. Is it just below the shadow from that one overhang?”


 “Yeah. That’s it. Let’s make the climb.”


 “What kind of equipment did you bring?”


 “Jack. Jack. We’ve never climbed with equipment, remember. If we get stuck we can always jump to our deaths. Let’s go. I think I see a seam we can get up the face with.”


 “Len, are you forgetting last year when you got stuck on that ledge for half a day? Christ, I thought we would never get you down.”


 “Like you haven’t been in the same situation. Look Jack. This is the second largest caldera in the world. There have got to be lava tubes all over the place up here. This might be the entrance to a series of tubes that underlies the whole Valle Grande.”


 “You gonna just stand there gabbin all day or start the ascent?”


 “That’s what I like about you Jack, no brains.”


 They hiked directly to the seam Len had seen earlier, dropped their packs, put on fanny packs that contained sandwiches and flashlights, and started the climb. The first 100 feet of the ascent were pretty easy. A two-inch ridge ran up the cliff allowing them to edge along it one foot after another while seeking handholds. The second 100 feet proved a bit more interesting. A six inch fissure wormed its way up the cliff face with no spot for rest. They had to place their feet against one edge and hold onto the other with their hands. For one hundred feet they went hand over hand, foot over foot until they reached a 20 inch ledge they could rest on. Both Len and Jack were scared to death at this point. They were two hundred feet up a cliff face wondering if they could make it back down. The next hundred feet were pretty easy with good handholds and solid footings. The next to the last ascent had an overhang in it. Len made the overhang with a daring grab above the hang with no visible handhold in sight. He cleared the overhang and sat panting unseen above Jack.


 Jack remembered back to the attempt.


 “Come on Jack. It’s a snap.”


 “How did you do it, Len?”


 “There’s a ridge directly above that small rock that sticks out on the overhang. Shoot off your left foot hitting that right foot hold just below the overhang. Totally commit to the handhold by leaping up and grabbing it. You can do it.”


 Jack pushed off his left foot just as Len had said. His right foot hit the foothold perfect as he shot his right hand over the overhang and let go with his left hand at the same time. His right hand got a firm hold but his left missed it’s mark. Jack remembered the fear as his fingers started to give out on the handhold. Just then, Len grabbed his wrist giving Jack the time and strength to secure his left hand on the ridge. Jack lay next to Len panting on the overhang. Len was wearing a huge grin.


 “Christ Len, I almost died.”


 “Almost doesn’t count. Can’t you feel it. The exhilaration of the moment. My whole body is tingling. I’ve never seen more clearly in my life. That was great, Jack. Thanks a lot.”


 “You know. It really wasn’t that bad. Let’s get to it.”


 Jack and Len reached the cave entrance at four o’clock. There was no way they could climb down that evening. They sat at the entrance of the cave looking out across the canyon as the sun set.


 “There’s a girl in my calculus class that I think likes me, Jack.”


 “What’s her name?”


 “Maria. Maria Chavez. Do you know her?”


 “No, but I’ve seen her around. She’s real cute Len. Are you going to ask her out?”


 “If I can build up the guts. She says hi to me every day and is in my study group.”


 “Go for it Len. You’re so weird. You climb cliffs, jump cars, and get hurt incredibly bad all the time. But when it comes to people, you’re scared to death.”


 “You’ve known me since I was three. All through grade school and junior high people made fun of me for thinking differently. You’re my best and only friend.”


 “You’re worth it Len. I’ve learned more about life and about being alive through you than through anyone or anything. I’m with you until the very end. Ask Maria out, Len.”


 They spent the rest of the cold night in the cave entrance 500 feet above Canones Creek talking about their childhood. In the morning neither of them had ever felt better.


 Somehow Len and Jack made the descent. They came away from the cave different boys than when they had entered. Both were committed to each other for life, bonded through the experience and words that sealed them to the pact. As the years rolled by they learned to technically climb and visited the cave several times. It was their place of wonder. The place a couple of kids go to when they need to think about life and death.


 Returning to the present, Jack whispered to himself, ”I’m with you until the very end”, and walked back to the sleeping bags and got into his. He and Len slept until 4:30 when Len woke up.


 Len got out of his sleeping bag and dressed quietly. He moved his backpack to the entrance of the cave and took out the transmission box and notebook computer. He turned on both units and checked the infrared communication port to the transmission box and satelite feed. The check program came back with an OK. Len composed the following declaration:


 I, Leonard Mahoney, declare war upon the United States of America. This war is not a war for control or oppression. It is a war in support of the Constitution of the United States of America. It is a war against what you, the leaders of this great nation, have made it. This war is against the complexity and interference to which the now established government is subjecting United States citizens. The United States Constitution starts with the following preamble:


"We, the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."


Establishing Justice


What is justice? Justice is not punishment. Justice is not defined by suppression. Justice has to do with morality, an understanding of cause and effect, a philosophical construction based on avoidance of harm and the endowment of future rewards not based on others pain.


 In other words, the people of the United States will establish a system based on truth and virtuous behavior where citizens exhibit goodness. Have we not destroyed the society that charished these values. Aren’t we as citizens, afraid of others and fearful to extend kindness. The leaders of the United States have corrupted the health of our society by playing to special interest groups in order to further their own political careers.


Insure Domestic Tranquility:


 It can be fairly said that if our children are the largest group of criminal offenders we as a nation are failing. This is not a situation of domestic tranquility but a situation of domestic adversity. Our government has not delivered to us a peaceful nation, but a nation blighted by public policies that punish businessmen and workers alike for their efforts to succeed.


Provide for the Common Defense:


 The Constitution does not ask the government to create a defense system that consumes the national budget.  Does the Constitution require the defense of all the nations of the world against aggressors? There is no mention of setting up puppet dictators or establishing a Center for International Affairs that performs covert operations selling arms to other nations. We are a nation blessed with geographical isolation. Basing our defense and industrialization on idealistic fears is neither valid nor prudent.


Promote the General Welfare:


 General welfare refers to the welfare of the whole. It does not recommend promoting a small sector of our nation’s welfare at the expense of the whole. There is no mention of redistribution of income.


Secure the Blessings of Liberty:


 Liberty to work for wages without them being stolen for redistribution. Liberty to eat and drink products of choice as long as no harm is done to others. The liberty to determine how to raise our children. The liberty to practice an occupation of choice without having to meet others’ criteria of acceptance.


 The Government of the United States of America will relinquish absolute control of all governing agencies to me, Leonard Mahoney, by 8:00 AM Mountain Standard Time January 30. I, Leanord Mahoney, will maintain absolute control of the government for the next 4 years at which time free elections will be held for all government offices held. At that time I will disarm all weapons and stand down from my position as Dictator of the United States. In the event that the United States does not surrender, a nuclear device will detonate each day from February 1st through February 18th somewhere in the United States. These detonations are targeted to completely destroy the infrastructure of the United States. Any attempt to seek out and destroy or interrogate myself, my friends, or my family will result in the above conditions being carried out.


 Len uplinked to the communication satelite and sent the message via email to every major newspaper and government agency. He packed the notebook away and pulled the hood of his jacket over his head.



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved


Hardship

HARDSHIP

To lead people, walk beside them ... As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate ... When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'

- Lao-tsu


If we get separated on the way there we’ll meet at Newspaper Rock at one o’clock.”  Len told Marcus at lunch during spades.  Jack played the 2 of spades, his last card, taking the trick and winning the game for Len and himself.


Jack told us that last year you ran in 12 miles with two oranges, a quart of water, and two pieces of beef jerky.  I don’t know if I can handle that.”  Hank said.


“You’ll never now if you don’t try, Hank.”  Jack said.


Len looked up with a dead pan stare, “Don’t be a puss, Hank.  You know you can hang.  Hank was a 6’5” basketball player with incredible strength and leaping ability.  He could easily dunk the ball.  Jack knew what Hank was going through.  Len managed to muster more power and endurance than anyone he knew.


OK, Hank and Luke, you guys are responsible for breakfasts and snacks for three days of backpacking.  Len and I will take lunches and dinners.  Don’t forget a couple quart bottles filled with water. You’re packing it in so be careful what you take.”  Jack told them.


That night Len and Jack packed their backpacks for the three day spring weekend.  Len and Jack were both familiar with the possibility of 0 degree white out conditions during March in Canyonlands and packed accordingly; thinsulite gloves, down sleeping bags, down jackets made of ripstop nylon, two pair of long johns each, four pair of heavy socks each, 4 pair of light socks each, ski caps with ear warmers, scarves for the face, winter insulated shirts, shorts, 4 short sleeve cotton shirts each, sunglasses, 2 quart bottles of water each (They both knew they would have to find water to survive.), 4 oranges, 4 full bags of beef jerky, matches in sealed containers, fire starter, first aid kit with a snake bite kit, compass, topographic map of the Needles area of Canyonlands, tent, and ground cloth.


The next day, before sunrise, a red 122 Volvo and Volkswagen beetle took off towards Canonlands as a cloudbank moved into the four corners area of the United States.  They drove through the little town of Jemez Springs and turned right at San Isidro on their way to Cuba New Mexico.  As they drove the temperature dropped to 18 degrees and snow started to blow across the road.


“I just love this weather.  Could you pass me some water?”  Len asked.  Both Len and Jack knew the importance of drinking a lot of water when hiking the canyon.  Last year when they had done this trip they drink enough water and ended up dehydrated at the end of the first day.  Len took a long drink and passed the open container to Jack who did the same.


“How’s your mom doing, Jack?"


“I visited her last week.  I don’t think she’ll ever be my mom again.  I always thought that it would be great if my dad left and that my mother would find some peace.  Instead, she drank so much that she never escaped the demons of his torture.  Yesterday, she didn’t even look up when I visited her.  She just sat staring out the window.  God, it was depressing.”


“Sorry.  I’ll always be there for you.  You know that, right?”  Len said.


Yeah, I know. Thanks. Damn, the snow is really coming down.” Jack said as the pain slid from his face.


I love this weather.”  Len said again as the car plunged into the endless snow flakes blazing past their head lights.


“How’s your mom doing?” Jack asked Len.


“Pretty good lately.  She goes in and out ever since Jenna died.  This has been a good month for her.  On the bad months, my dad stays at the labs or in his shop.  Her pain is unbearable to him.”  Len said.

The Volvo suddenly broke loose from the road and headed towards the mesa they were passing on their way into Cuba, New Mexico.  The car slid between two reflectors, spun around 360 degrees, and came out between two other reflectors facing the direction they were headed as if nothing had happened.


Holy shit, that was exciting!” Jack yelled.


“Well, you ain’t seen nothin yet.  Hand me a beer, will you?  Len said in a slow drawl and a smile from ear to ear.


Jack opened a Mickey Big Mouth and handed it to Len.  Then he popped the top of one for himself.


“Christ Jack. When you gonna buy beer that doesn’t taste like dog piss?”


“Since when did you become such a big puss?”  Jack smiled and took a big gulp.


Len and Jack arrived at Newspaper Rock at 12:55 and got dressed for the blizzard blowing outside.  They put on thick plaid shirts, scarves, down jackets, winter hats, and gloves and got out to wait for Marcus and Hank.  The wind was bitter cold putting the wind chill at minus 10 degrees.  Almost simultaneously, Len and Jack tied bandanas around their mouth and nose.  They both jogged over to Newspaper Rock and looked at the 1500 year old Native American petroglyph.


“These guys were drawing on rocks when Rome was falling. I love this place.”  Len shouted at Jack.  Len’s eyes scanned the petroglyphs looking for density patterns, instantly recognizing by discoloration to what culture which petroglyph belonged.  He instinctively knew that the history of the region for over a thousand years was recorded in this simple presentation.  To most it would be cute, to him; it was a blue print for flora, fauna, and culture.  He walked away from the rock inspired by humanity.  Jack watched Len wishing he could exalt in the wonders of life like him.  Instead, Jack exalted in knowing Len, riding the winds of power.


They got in the car and waited an hour and a half.  Marcus and Hank didn’t drive above 45 miles an hour the whole way to Newspaper rock.  Len and Jack got out of the car to greet them when they arrived.  Marcus and Hank sat in the car staring out at the cold wind blowing snow ghosts across the parking lot.  Len knocked on Marcus’s window.  Marcus rolled the window down half way.

“This is it.  Isn’t it beautiful?  We’re going to drive into Squaw Flat and hike into Chesler Park tonight.  We had better get going.  What took you guys so long?”  Len was screaming to be heard above the howling wind.


Marcus was shaking his head, “Are you kidding me?”


“What, a little snow?  Is that it?  You are afraid of a little snow.  Just follow us.”  With that Len and Jack jogged back to their car, got in and started driving making sure that Marcus and Hank could keep up.  It took them another hour to get to Squaw Flat leaving them just two hours to hoof it the 7 miles into Chesler Park.


They all got out of the cars and unloaded their back packs and gear.


Len screamed, “We’re in luck, we don’t have to worry about water tomorrow.  This is great.  We have two hours to hoof it 7 miles into Chesler Park.  Here are some extra scarves and bandanas I brought for you two yahoos.  Make sure you seal in the warmth when we stop running.


“Running?”  Hank said.


“Don’t worry Hank, if you loose us, your body will freeze and look great for your parents.  Make sure you keep up boys, it’s easy to get lost.” Jack said.


Len took out a map.  “We’re here.  We are going here.  Three lefts, one right.”


Len swung his pack on, synched up the waist belt, checked the fit and started jogging.  Jack fell in right behind him with an easy gliding jog, then Hank, then Marcus.



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved


Love Thy Neighbor

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

In these times we can only turn to The One Teaching. The thesis must pervade our every act, "Love thy neighbor as you love yourself."

- Unknown


January 1


 Even now, I look across the fire to see his weathered face, and I love that man. Through the last forty years our friendship has endured. I would not have thought that possible after what he has done to the world. Still, his eyes hold some warmth and humor like the dreary glow of a burned out camp fire. The world has entered the late night stage of the campfire and no one knows if it will survive the coming years.


 His name is Leonard Mahoney. He is tall, lanky, brazen. His humor lit up my life during the times when I thought there would be no end to the sadness I was experiencing.


 We grew up in a beautiful small town in the mountains of New Mexico during the 1950's and the 1960's. Our town was sheltered between mountains overlooking the Rio Grande Valley. Across from my childhood home the cliffs turned purple at sunset. I remember the mountains turning colors as we walked between mesas out of the shadows.


 I met Len when we were both four years old. My parents moved next door to his. We shared a common breezeway that was the joy of our childhood. Our front yards were covered by a flat grassy area that rolled uphill into a small copse of trees that was considered a forest by children. Our backyards sloped downhill into sand pits and chain link fences.


 Len had a dog called Sherry and a sister named Jen. Sherry went where Len went. They were an inseparable team, just as Len and I were. Jack, Len and Jen, children discovering the world of nature. Imagined bears, bobcats, and bogeymen waiting everyday in the small canyon down the street from our houses.


 Our parents worked for the Atomic Energy Commission. They were the product of an extensive search by the government to find people capable of creating an atomic weapon during World War II. They built bombs, and devices that could be used for massive destruction. They believed in their efforts with all their hearts. The parents of Los Alamos were encased by secrecy and isolated from reality by their idealism. Their children were protected from racism, poverty, hunger, violence, and government suppression. The government needed our parents and would care for them. That's the society our parents created for their children. The world today is a product of their ideals and protectionism.


 The campfire is almost out and Len is starting to shake a little from the cold. He is not careful about taking care of his health.


 "Len, why don't you put this jacket on?" We've only been in the mountains a couple of days. Our hiding out here is the first time I can remember that Len hasn't come alive when we've been here. To us, these mountains are our homes, our friends. They deliver us from the outside world into a world of tranquil thoughts and cool breezes. These mountains belong to us and our childhood. The distance of the trees from each other, the pine needles matting the ground, the waterfalls, the swimming holes, the crows that cry out our names are all as familiar to us as the hamburger hangouts of those who grow up in the city.


 "Jack, do you remember the time we went camping on Easter weekend at the old reservoir and it got so cold Knute woke up with a frozen ring around his neck?"


 "Yeah. That was the time you put your frozen boots too close to the fire and one of them burned up. It was pretty funny watching you walk out of there, one boot on, one boot off."


 "If there hadn't been the snow I don't think it would have been so bad. You’re right Jack I'm worn out. I'm going to turn in. Goodnight."


 "Goodnight Len. I think I'll stay up for awhile and keep watch."


 When we were very young children Len and I played in a small canyon behind our houses. In the canyon was a crevice formed by two large rocks lying side by side. It was probably less than six feet high and three feet wide. To us as children it was huge. I remember when Len and I filled that crevice with old sticks and all the wood around the area we could find. Len took out the matchbook, lit a match and tossed it into the wood. We stared expecting roaring flames to instantly consume the pile of wood. Nothing. Len took another match, lit it and threw it into the pile of wood. Again nothing. We both sat down and looked at each other. I said, “Len, do you think we need to try smaller wood?" Len got up and started collecting the smallest twigs he could find. I did the same. We gathered a large pile together and placed it under the larger wood. Len handed me the matches. We stood back and I tossed the match into the small pile of wood. When it hit the ground the match went out. We both got down on the ground close to the very small twigs. I lit the match and held it gently under the twigs. A small fire started to burn. It burned larger and larger until the whole pile of wood was raging. We were forced to stand far back from the cleft, our faces lit in fear. The blaze we made was uncontrollable. I remember the fear in my heart when I realized that the fire we could not start had become the fire we could not control. I remember the need to run from that fear knowing that we couldn't leave without the possibility of our play world being destroyed. That's how I feel now. Len has let a fire loose on mankind and lost control. As children we were standing in front of the blaze when the firemen arrived and put it out. As adults we are standing in the flames as they wash over our lives and can only hope that the fire can be extinguished. The kind and gentle firemen have been replaced by scores of mankind screaming the anguish that we have delivered to them.


 Every day from the time Len and I were four until the time we were eleven we woke up and looked out our windows at Burnt Mountain. It stood, bare faced, smiling with a big LA written across its face in front of our second story bedroom windows. We both had rooms on the second floor of our houses. Between Len’s room and mine stretched a phone line consisting of two cans tied together with a string. Every night before we fell asleep Len and I would lean out our windows in front of Burnt Mountain and scream out the days activities over the can line until our parents would yell at us to shut up.


 Our childhood was measured by the seasons of the year. Because it was a mountain town, the summers were short and the winters long. Fall brought a panorama of color to the area, leaving dead leaves in high piles for us to jump into and kick around. Spring melted frozen streams into running brooks and children’s dreams into reality. For the children wedded to the mountains, the world was their playground consisting of the animals and flora of the season.


 During the winter we slid down canyon walls, along frozen streams, and into the silence of snow laden forests. We stalked the tracks of unknown animals, dug underground forts, piled snow high into shelters, collected snowballs for team wars, bulldogged each other on sleds, and ran saucer runs that felt comparable to Olympic bobsledding. Bears frequented our garbage cans in the morning, deer gathered together on our front lawns, birds sought sanctuary in our awnings, and silence fell from the snow laden limbs of the forest trees upon the tracks of children on yet another adventure. As winter ebbed and spring sang of its coming, the afternoons burned bright and warm on a world growing underneath the white silence.


 Spring brought the advent of mud, the ultimate source of pleasure. In mud there was texture, smell, slick ugly games of tackle. We knew that the mud signaled the beginning of longer days. They were days when we could stay out until 9 at night playing kick the can or sitting frozen behind a neighbor’s shed. Mud brought the running streams, fishing at 5:00 in the morning at the reservoir, kite flying in the park, baseball, football, and basketball. Mud was the precursor to life. Any mountain child knows this fact. Our mothers feared the end of winter. They saw mud on everything, everywhere. To them mud was the end of existence. So much for point of view.


 Summer brought the lessons of golf, tennis, and swimming. Diligently we showed up at 9:00 am every day at the golf course to play 18 holes. At 12:30 tennis lessons started at Urban park. At 5:30 swimming began at the high school pool. Summer was the time of the crows cawing from the tops of trees and telephone poles. We knew what trees had the crows and where they would be from year to year. That is the way of nature, to hold its form from year to year.


 A bright glow grows in the distance and dies down like the campfire. Len shivers in his sleep, less from the cold and more from the emotional exhaustion. The chill of this winter night is slowly finding its way to my bones. Perhaps tomorrow will bring to us and the world a quiet peace.



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved


Peace and Freedom

PEACE AND FREEDOM

“Freedom cannot be trifled with. You cannot surrender it for security unless in a state of war, and then you must guard carefully the methods of so doing.”

- Arthur Hays Sulzberger


January 3


 Yesterday, CIA field operative Slim Parker informed us of detected movement towards the 38th parallel in Korea. His satellite photos indicated heavy artillery, tank, and militia transport to the DMZ. Had the North Koreans honored the treaty signed on October 14, 1994 that granted the IAEA access to the North Korean nuclear power plants, the indicated troop movement would not be significant. Because we were unable to determine if the plants had been converted to produce weapons grade plutonium, it is assumed by all governmets that North Korea does have nuclear potential and that they have the means of delivering that potential within a 500 mile radius. This places both South Korea and Japan at risk if escalated confrontation should result in nuclear exchange.


 Our government's international policies are seriously strained by the destruction of Chicago. Domestic unrest has never been this high. There are riots in the streets of New York, Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Houston calling for retribution against the villain that killed their relatives and destroyed our city. The people of the United States are not satisfied with the lip service given by their government so far on who they suspect and the justice that will be exacted. We are, as a nation of leaders, afraid of the turmoil. There have been a few claims to the destruction of Chicago. Those who have made claims, have been bombed within very little time. Unfortunately, it is obvious based on our information, that none of the groups making claims have the capabilities to build nuclear weapons.


 Today the president of South Korea, Roh Tae Woo, called an emergency meeting of the United Nations. He will be asking the free nations of the world to mount a nuclear first strike against North Korea to save his country. There is no doubt that his request will be denied. Who is writing this?



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved


Peace and Freedom

PEACE AND FREEDOM

“Freedom cannot be trifled with. You cannot surrender it for security unless in a state of war, and then you must guard carefully the methods of so doing.”

- Arthur Hays Sulzberger


January 3


 Yesterday, CIA field operative Slim Parker informed us of detected movement towards the 38th parallel in Korea. His satellite photos indicated heavy artillery, tank, and militia transport to the DMZ. Had the North Koreans honored the treaty signed on October 14, 1994 that granted the IAEA access to the North Korean nuclear power plants, the indicated troop movement would not be significant. Because we were unable to determine if the plants had been converted to produce weapons grade plutonium, it is assumed by all governmets that North Korea does have nuclear potential and that they have the means of delivering that potential within a 500 mile radius. This places both South Korea and Japan at risk if escalated confrontation should result in nuclear exchange.


 Our government's international policies are seriously strained by the destruction of Chicago. Domestic unrest has never been this high. There are riots in the streets of New York, Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Houston calling for retribution against the villain that killed their relatives and destroyed our city. The people of the United States are not satisfied with the lip service given by their government so far on who they suspect and the justice that will be exacted. We are, as a nation of leaders, afraid of the turmoil. There have been a few claims to the destruction of Chicago. Those who have made claims, have been bombed within very little time. Unfortunately, it is obvious based on our information, that none of the groups making claims have the capabilities to build nuclear weapons.


 Today the president of South Korea, Roh Tae Woo, called an emergency meeting of the United Nations. He will be asking the free nations of the world to mount a nuclear first strike against North Korea to save his country. There is no doubt that his request will be denied. Who is writing this?



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved


Doubt

DOUBT

“Let the United States hear well. Don’t imagine that by destroying our missiles you stripped us of our ability to act, because every Iraqi is a missile that can reach countries and cities. If you want we will become everything that frightens you.”

- Sala al-Mukhtar


Outside his tent Omar heard his two daughters and three sons playing war in the sand. His sons were proficient shots and good fighters. Even his youngest son, Abdul, could shoot and kill a camel from 200 yards. He was only 8. His daughters were beautiful, like his wife. They reminded him of the soft sound of sand blowing over the tent late at night. His wife came to him, quietly unbidden, and refilled his empty cup.


 “What is it Omar? You are lost in thought this morning.”


 “I have brought a great honor upon our house. Still, it is not easy to know your family will die.”


 Rema was used to Omar’s dark thoughts. He was a good father and kind man. He had provided well for her and her children. She left him alone and went out to watch the children.


 Sheik Omar Abdul-Mukhtar swallowed what he expected to be his last drink of wine slowly, swirling it about his mouth. He thought that he had achieved his station by being the first to claim responsibility for the destruction of Chicago. Even now he heard the American war planes from the USS George Washington roaring above his encampment. He was surprised to see how quickly they had found him. He knew of the satellite tracking abilities, but found it hard to believe that all the roaming terrorists in the North African desert were tracked and identified. No matter, he would be praised by Allah for having claimed the horror of destruction brought

upon the American devils.


 Three F-16’s fell upon the encampment with sidewinder missiles and 50 caliber machine guns. Within a minute the encampment was a smoking pyre of ill conceived honor.



Copyright © 1993 - 2010 Philip Regenie, All Rights Reserved